5 Ways to Deal With Dysfunctional Team Members When You’re Working From Home
This article was originally published for Support Raising Solutions by Carey Nieuwhof.
Dysfunctional team members are hard to deal with at the best of times.
They can frustrate you, perplex you and leave you wondering how to deal with them.
But, when you add remote work to the equation, it gets even more challenging.
How do you deal with dysfunctional people in the workplace when you’re working from home and can’t talk to them in person?
As you know, your company culture can take a deep hit if dysfunctional behaviors are allowed to fester.
Here are five strategies that can help you keep a healthy culture and deal with dysfunction when you’re leading people remotely.
1. Clarify Your Values
It’s one thing to have a mission and vision statement. It’s another thing for everyone in your organization to know and understand your values.
While company values vary, it’s a good idea to craft a few (with input from your team) that deal with how people can treat each other.
Moving beyond axiomatic values like ’empathy’ or ‘respect’ can be helpful. While I’m a huge believer in things like empathy and respect, when you see those on a sheet of paper the normal response is to say, “Well of course,” but then move on.
They’re so taken for granted that they can easily be ignored or dismissed.
Instead, try stating your values about how you treat one another more uniquely.
In my company, for example, two of the values are Choose Trust and Pursue Health.
We pair a question with each value to further clarity.
For Choose Trust, the question is: Am I believing the best or assuming the worst?
That gives us a springboard to deal with things like gossip, cynicism and backstabbing.
The question associated with Pursue Health is: Am I living in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? That, again, becomes a springboard for conversations around how self-defeating dysfunctional behavior can be.
It’s hard to hold someone accountable for violating company values if you’ve never taken the time to define those values.
Defining your values for an in-person office is important. Defining them for a hybrid or remote work environment is essential.
2. Act Quickly
It can be hard to interpret human behavior and intent in person. It’s even harder online or when you can’t see a person in real life.
That’s why it’s even more important in a work-from-home setting to deal directly and quickly with behavior that feels off or even remotely dysfunctional.
Naturally, if you see something that’s blatantly toxic or malevolent, you should deal with it immediately.
But, often toxicity is more subtle than that. In fact, much of the time you’ll even be unsure if something is off.
The moment you begin to wonder if something might be off, act.
Small cracks can grow into big chasms quickly when you don’t have all signals you pick up from being in the same room with someone on a daily basis.
Things you would have picked up on immediately in an office can get missed for days, weeks or months when working remotely.
If you sense something is off, address it. A slightly awkward conversation now is far better than a really awkward conversation later.
3. Assume The Best
To make the conversation as healthy as possible, if you’re worried about someone’s behaviour, start by assuming the best.
The easiest way to do that is to ask the person in question if everything’s alright.
Here are a few ways to break the ice:
- “Just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing. Is everything alright?”
- “I thought we’d start here today, how are things going? How are you doing?”
- “Hey, I notice a bit of a change in your attitude lately. Just checking in, is everything okay?”
Sometimes, that clears the issue up because they open up about something that’s going on in their life. It could be anything from them not sleeping well, having a family member that’s struggling or wrestling through some personal issues.
While you can’t solve that as an employer, you can empathize and offer support. And, often that will solve the problem you feel at work.
If it continues to impact performance, you now have a springboard to talk about it.
I have found this approach helpful because people bring their whole selves to work. While you can’t solve their life issues, being an empathetic ear often immediately improves workplace performance as people realize that something at home is impacting them at work.
And, if they need time off or some flexibility to deal with it, then you can discuss that.
4. Give Specifics
If that doesn’t resolve the issue (and, of course, sometimes it won’t), be as specific as possible.
Let them know how their behaviour is impacting their work and the team.
Reference a specific email or Slack message that left a bitter taste in people’s mouths. Or, discuss a particular meeting or set of meetings where they were disengaged or were critical of their coworkers. Or, talk about specific performance or key metrics on projects that are in jeopardy.
Referencing specifics makes it much easier for the person to address.
Healthy people will own their mistakes. Unhealthy people won’t.
That gives you a clear sense of what to do next as well, which may include letting someone go or limiting their influence.
For pro-tips on how to deal with a toxic person (including dismissal), check out this post.
5. Always Default To Video
What you probably like most (and in some cases, least) about the office is people.
Emails, texts, Slack and phone calls aren’t quite the same.
The solution? Default to video in your meetings. We use Zoom on my team, but you can use anything from FaceTime to Microsoft Teams to Google Meet.
Bottom line: When you see someone, you interact differently. You connect. You catch all the nuances of human communication.
Video helps as the default because it’s more likely to reduce dysfunctional behavior. It’s far easier to be snarky, sarcastic or dismissive via keyboard than it is via video.
Video is almost the best option next to face-to-face for dealing with conflict and disruptive behavior after it arises.
Nothing good happens when you’re angry and you’ve got a keyboard in your hand. Stop typing, start talking. Face to face. Human to human.
When you can’t be in the same room, video is the next best thing.
Here’s why that’s a good rule: Communication involves subtleties lost in emails, texts and other written communication.
Second, it’s way too easy to roll your eyes, mock or emotionally shut down on someone when you’re not actually talking to them. You can do all this when you’re on the phone in a way that video makes much harder.
So, as soon as the hint of conflict arises, set up a video meeting.
Your best shot at resolving dysfunctional behavior happens when you can see each other.
If you still can’t resolve it, then you’ve given it your best shot and can start taking subsequent steps.
This article first appeared on careynieuwhof.com, click here to view.
This article is submitted by Jessica Wood of Support Raising Solutions. Support Raising Solutions is a Missio Nexus member. Member organizations can provide content to the Missio Nexus website. See how by clicking here.
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