An Indigenous Wedding Ceremony

by Delbert Rice

The Kalahari Mission is young in years but has been active in growth and development of its own life style in the Christian community. It has been the avowed purpose of this work to allow the church to be truly indigenous, not only in its finances and government but in every aspect of its life.

The Kalahari Mission is young in years but has been active in growth and development of its own life style in the Christian community. It has been the avowed purpose of this work to allow the church to be truly indigenous, not only in its finances and government but in every aspect of its life.

Having this in mind, therefore, when I was asked to perform a wedding ceremony for a young couple, I first called the elders and asked them to help to prepare an appropriate ceremony for the occasion. The ceremony must be meaningful to them and instructive. It must also fit comfortably within their own culture. The ceremony which they developed seems to fit the requirements excellently.

They realized that marriage in their culture (as in all Philippine cultures) is largely an agreement uniting two families into a special relationship through the marriage relationship between two individuals. For this reason they rejected the usual Western wedding ceremony which quite successfully excludes the families.

They also rejected the ring as a symbol of "unending love." It does not have any symbolism in their culture and a ring is also a most unappropriate item to wear, either for men or women, because of the type of work they do.

In many ancient wedding ceremonies performed according to the old customs they used a ceremony something like a baptism. This, too, was rejected because they did not want to confuse that baptism with the Christian baptism which was to demonstrate cleanness through conversion. With these things in mind, they prepared the following ceremony.

First, the couple to be married sits together on a short bench in front of the pastor who is to perform the marriage ceremony. Directly behind the girl, on a longer bench, sit the girl’s parents and beside them, behind the boy, sit the boy’s parents. On a third bench, or standing behind the parents, are the sponsors. The number of sponsors is usually not large.

The ceremony begins with the pastor’s prayer for God’s guidance. The pastor then addresses the parents by pairs, asking them specifically if they are agreeable to have their child enter into this marriage relationship and if they are agreeable to enter into the relationships with the family of the new spouse. When the answers are affirmative, the pastor addresses the couple individually and specifically asks them publically if they are willing to enter into such a marriage relationship and fulfill all of the responsibilities which are inherent in such a relationship. When the answers are affirmative, the pastor then addresses the sponsors, asking them two questions, i.e., whether there is any reason why the couple should not be married, and whether they are willing to assume the responsibilities of sponsors and properly guide and support with advice the couple to be married. After receiving the proper answers to these questions, the pastor again prays that God will witness these questions and answers and will also witness the vows that the couple will now make.

The wedding vows used in the next part of the ceremony are essentially the same as those which have been used in Western churches for generations and which have been included in the Book of Government of the denomination. ("For better or worse, in sickness and health, etc . . . .") At the close of the vows, however, the pastor requests the two fathers to come forward. Each of them brings with him a cup of water. The fathers pour the water into an empty cup which the pastor holds. The pastor then explains that just as the water from the two cups is no longer separable, the two families, and especially the bride and groom, have become joined and are no longer separable. The pastor then offers the water to both the bride and the groom, and they drink from it, thus sealing the contract of union. They stand before they drink and remain standing during the closing prayer.

After two such ceremonies were performed, members of the congregation prepared a special song that was sung after the closing prayer. This is a meaningful addition to the ceremony. One of these songs is roughly translated as follows:

Jehovah created Adam and Eve; He put them in Eden and gave them instructions. He said, "You must work if you want to have plenty. Be robust and I will make you healthy." It is the same with Minih and Carmelita. You are here to get married and hear the instructions: Instructions from the elders that they received from their ancestors In order that you might tie to yourselves His blessings.

The reaction of the congregations to the wedding ceremony prepared by the elders has been very favorable. There is even talk by some couples, who are already married, of getting married again, in order to experience it.

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