by Janice B. Dixon
A tongue-in-cheek look at missionary requirements.
Should be under 19 years old upon arrival to the field in order to still be flexible culturally.
On the other hand, should be at least 30 in order to have necessary maturity and experience.
Should be short, under 5’6", black-haired and brown-eyed, in order to be inconspicuous.
On the other hand, should be tall and blond, as this makes people pay attention to you.
Should have at least a doctorate.
On the other hand, should not waste time in school (the Lord is coming soon). Come to the mission field and find out what you need first.
Should be unencumbered by a wife, so you can live with nationals and not have distractions.
On the other hand, should certainly be married, as most cultures do not consider single people as adults.
Should be impoverished, as being in need teaches one to trust in God.
On the other hand, should have full support in order to get on with the job.
Should not have children before learning language.
On the other hand, should have your family complete so there will be no major interruptions later.
Should have aggressive and energetic personality.
On the other hand, should be passive and non-threatening so as to not turn people off.
Should be a real "student" in order to constantly learn relevant material.
On the other hand, should not be too studious, as this gives an excuse to not get out and work.
Should have a good mission board for help and encouragement.
On the other hand, should be independent as mission boards tend to hinder and discourage.
Should study language before coming in order to communicate rapidly.
On the other hand, should do all language study in the country as this is the only way to get a correct accent.
Should encourage visitors from home so they can get a vision of the work.
On the other hand, should discourage visitors as you have to entertain them, and then they think all you do is play.
Should live as simply as the poor people, to gain the respect of the nationals as a holy man.
On the other hand, should have a fairly high standard of living, as neither rich nor poor nationals respect poverty.
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