Thriving in Cross-Cultural Ministry – Staying 3 of 3

Installment 16: Staying 3 of 3

Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.

 – Psalm 37:3-5

It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than to complain about what is not given. One or the other becomes a habit of life.

– Elisabeth Elliot

Please help me select a title for the book these articles will become: forms.gle/hiqWxPkcW5bh4e8e6

Reminder: Your fellowship, sending organization, or team may not align with my advice. Trust your leaders as you respectfully share what you learn.

If you would like to see more in this series, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ.

This is the third article in the “Staying” article series, focused on that time between your initial onboarding and return from the field, your “long haul.” For the first installment, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ.

• Leave your host country regularly if possible (every three to six months)
  • Consider making medical appointments in a nearby country if you do not have good care in your location
• Do not miss big family events in your passport country
  • Death of immediate family member
  • Marriage of immediate family member, maybe best friend
  • First child born to sibling
  • Reason: What does it say to the unbelieving world when you do not support your family in key events?
• After your initial onboarding time, start engaging in the work you went to do:
  • Partner with another expatriate further along to mentor you
  • The shift from “purely language” will encourage you
  • This time with a mentor will show your theory works in practice
• Find accountability—but not on your team.
  • Even if you have accountability on your team.
  • Someone with whom you can be completely open will help keep you healthy.
• Care
  • REST!
    • Continue (or start) sabbath rest.
  • What resources do you have?
    • A person a life stage ahead of you, your member care representative, friends and mentors in your host and passport countries.
    • Your embassy may have medical lists available
  • Raise your hand.
    • No one knows what you need if you do not ask for help.
    • Ask early! Waiting adds extra strain on your team and/or support network.
  • See a need, meet a need
    • If others have a similar need, solve it together
• Maintain relationships in your passport country
  • Schedule regular calls to keep up with your closest friends and family
  • Preserve time for local relationships
  • Explain to family that your relationship will change over time.
  • Encourage family and friends to visit you
• Reinforce your circles of care
  • Innermost is you and your God. Is your prayer life sufficient for your challenges?
  • Next is your peers. Do you have close friends with whom you can share all of your struggles? Will they offer you the truth even when you do not want to hear it?
  • Third is pastoral support, typically someone in member care.
  • The last is professional care, including medical and psychiatric professionals.
• Maintain balance to prevent burnout
  • Burnout often reflects an over emphasis on yourself—e.g., the whole mission/project/exercise wholly depends on you
  • Long hours may be necessary for a short duration, but long term you will fail, as will the mission/project/exercise.
• As team members leave, do not simply absorb their workload
  • What things can be left undone?
  • What can you turn over to local partners?
  • Surveys beneficiaries AND team members to determine highest-value work
• Address leadership failures early (Matthew 18:15-20 principle)
  • Spiritual Abuse – Read Chapter 2 of Bully Pulpit
  • A leader who can dish out criticism but does not receive it may well be a narcissist (DeGroat, “When Narcissism Comes to Church,” p. 75)
  • “No one does more harm in the Church than he who has the title or rank of holiness and acts perversely” – Gregory the Great
  • https://michaeljkruger.com/what-is-spiritual-abuse/

Please share your thoughts on this topic in the full document: bit.ly/4doFRgZ .

This article is part of a series. For prior articles, resources, and the author’s biography, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ

Books by this author: www.dharakalauthor.org

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Reliant or any other entity with which he is affiliated.

This article is submitted by Reliant. Reliant is a Missio Nexus member.  Member organizations can provide content to the Missio Nexus website. See how by clicking here.