Departing: Leaving a Long-Term Host Country (1 of 3)

Thriving in Cross-Cultural Ministry Installment 20: Departing (1 of 3)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven

 – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

– C.T. Studd

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Reminder: Your fellowship, sending organization, or team may not align with my advice. Trust your leaders as you respectfully share what you learn.

If you would like to see more in this series, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ.

The time has come for you to depart your host country, either to change counties, or return to your passport country.

Meet with your organization, sending fellowship, or other “parent” organization well before you plan to return to work through why you are leaving and ensure they support your transition. Some relationships are toxic, so you may need to work through that with a third party.

If your host country has been your home for many years, such that your children know it as their only home, returning to your passport country will be far more reminiscent of leaving for the first time. The advice in the Preparing and Leaving chapters may be helpful.

I write the balance from the perspective of one returning to your passport country after you have been gone long enough that your return is not stepping right back into what is left, but not so long that it is completely unfamiliar. For those who are married and each spouse is from a different passport country, you may have the added component that it will be familiar to one and not the other.

Read or re-read the chapters on Returning and Leaving to map out a time line to get everything done.

PREPARE EMOTIONALLY

• You may depart after your initial term, your initial month, after several terms, or with a walker – and everywhere in between.
  • God knows his plans for you – he will show you when he is ready
  • If you depart before you planned, know it is not before he planned (if you are walking in obedience to him)

• Leave well
  • Ensure you have good goodbyes with friends and special places
  • In your final two months, assume each goodbye is your last
    • Some friends may travel before you leave, but return after you leave
  • Do not promise to return—even definite plans are subject to change
  • Give plenty of notice to landlord, children’s school, language center, and other places dependent on you for income.
  • Say “goodbye” to special places as well as people

• Debrief, ideally before you land in your new home
  • Plan on at least a week
  • If possible, debrief outside of your host and passport country
  • Gives you an opportunity to share your story with someone who understands, which most in your passport country will not

• Your passport country will not be the same as when you left it.
  • If you have been gone a long time, or your passport country has gone through significant social and or political change, your experience may be more like moving to a new culture than you realize.
  • If you have been gone at least six months, you will recognize changes.
  • Prepare yourself for reverse culture shock.

• People are not where you left them
  • You and your TCK(s) are accustomed to making new friends quickly, and going “deep” soon after meeting, which may be quite foreign in your passport country.

• Lighten up – be prepared to be a foreigner in your own home.
  • When you mess up, laugh it off and share why it is funny with your audience.

• Resume your “learner” attitude for the first six months or year
  • You need to figure out your new but old home
  • Give yourself grace

• If needed, schedule counseling sessions before your departure to prepare for reentry, someone you can connect with in person after you arrive.

• Prepare to be disoriented
  • People who live cross-culturally, especially those serving in missions, often enjoy a greater depth of community and common purpose than they find on their return
  • Most friends, colleagues, and strangers do not understand what you have done, how you have lived, and have no place in their world view for your experiences
  • Debriefing will help

DISCLAIMER

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Reliant or any other entity with which he is affiliated.

Please share your thoughts on this topic in the full document: bit.ly/4doFRgZ .

This article is part of a series. For prior articles, resources, and the author’s biography, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ

Books by this author: www.dharakalauthor.org

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

• Eenigenburg, Sue and Eva Burkholder, Grit to Stay Grace to Go
• Young, Amy, Looming Transitions: Starting and Finishing Well in Cross-Cultural Service

This article is submitted by Reliant. Reliant is a Missio Nexus member.  Member organizations can provide content to the Missio Nexus website. See how by clicking here.