Thriving in Cross-Cultural Ministry – RETURNING (Furlough or Home Leave) 1 of 3

Installment 17: Returning 1 of 3

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

 – Hebrews 13:2

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.

– Anonymous, attributed (erroneously) to St. Francis of Assisi

Please help me select a title for the book these articles will become: forms.gle/hiqWxPkcW5bh4e8e6

Reminder: Your fellowship, sending organization, or team may not align with my advice. Trust your leaders as you respectfully share what you learn.

If you would like to see more in this series, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ.

This section will be especially helpful for one’s first visit to their passport country after a year or longer on the field. Some organizations call this “furlough”, others “home leave,” and others a “home ministry assignment (HMA).”

PRINCIPLES

• Invest in the person to whom  you are talking. Take a genuine interest in their life, even if it means you do not get to share as much of yours as  you would like.
• Be an exceptional guest.
  • Ask about time restrictions (children who go to sleep early, parents who rise early) or curfews, and honor those. Ask for exceptions, if needed.
  • Ask about food and drinks. Do not assume everything is at your disposal. It may be, but it honors your host to ask.
  • Set expectations, especially when you stay with family members. International workers often need to raise support or visit supporters, do training or counseling, or work with their sending church or organization. Start setting expectations well before you land.
  • Ask what expectations your host has. Can you sleep in until noon, or do they expect you at breakfast at 7:00? Even if you are not a morning person, honor your host by adapting to their schedule.
• Consider an AirBnB or other housing option for part of your stay if you need time to rest and disconnect. While it may sound ungrateful, tell family or friends that you need time to decompress so that you can invest more in your time with them.

EXPECTATIONS

These are guidelines for you to know what to expect. Many plan on a huge reception with a ticker-tape parade and lavish time and exotic meals. Maybe not that extreme, but close. To avoid disappointment, this section will help eliminate surprises.

• Most people will ask you silly questions like, “How was your trip?” though you have been gone two or three years, or “How is <country>?”, which is not where you live.
• Most questions will be superficial, when you may be used to deep questions with your team or locals.
• Most will not make time for your whole story.
  • Practice an “elevator pitch” that you can sum up what you have been doing and will be doing in a couple of good sentences, to take no more than two to three minutes. Leave them wanting more
• Do not believe that people do not love you. They do not understand your life and they do not know what to ask.
• Ask others the questions you wish they would ask you. This opens the door to better questions.
  • Ask to listen and learn, not to reciprocate. If they ask you, it is a bonus.
  • Some sample questions:
    • “In the past <x> years, what significant changes have happened in your life?”
    • “What do you most enjoy now? How are you most challenged or frustrated?”
    • “Where do you see God most present in your life?”
• While it is easy to be dismayed by people not understanding the magnitude of change in your life, remember their lives are also not where you left them.
• The words referenced above are a good foundation:

            O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

                        to be consoled as to console,

                        to be understood as to understand,

                        to be loved as to love.

Next in the series: Planning and scheduling

… so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. – Romans 12:5

Memories are links in a golden chain that bind us until we meet again. – Jacqueline Winspear

Please share your thoughts on this topic in the full document: bit.ly/4doFRgZ .

This article is part of a series. For prior articles, resources, and the author’s biography, visit bit.ly/4aXWTjQ

Books by this author: www.dharakalauthor.org

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Reliant or any other entity with which he is affiliated.

This article is submitted by Reliant. Reliant is a Missio Nexus member.  Member organizations can provide content to the Missio Nexus website. See how by clicking here.